Tuesday, June 4, 2019

“Kids are Annoying”

It’s only 8:39am.
And I’ve had an incredibly stressful morning.
Life as a parent = stress.

First of all, I know there are people out there with/without kids who are patient as can be. There are also people out there with/without kids who are impatient as can be.

If you find yourself thinking “kids are annoying” whenever you’re around children....
Guess freaking what?

...you’re not alone.

You think it’s not “annoying” that my kids wake me up at 6:30am every morning?
You think I don’t get “annoyed” that I was up all night with them, for night terrors, for wetting the bed, for coughs and runny noses?
You think I’m not “annoyed” having to take them to a store that’s not kid friendly because I don’t have other options? (I swear it never crosses peoples’ minds)
You think it’s not “annoying” that they misbehave in such stores/places ? Even though I repeatedly ask them to sit still, or not touch anything. They don’t listen. Do you think I find it pleasant or “annoying” that they knock stuff off shelves and scream and run and play tag?
You think I don’t hey “annoyed” having to be the primary disciplinarian? You think I love snapping at my kids 24/7 and trying to redirect their attention, keep them on the right path, make sure they’re making honest, good choices so they can turn out to be decent human beings?
You think I don’t get “annoyed” that they won’t eat their breakfast? That they make food demands? That they are starving at 9:00pm because they didn’t eat dinner?
You think it’s not “annoying” to me that they are restless and noisy in church? You think I don’t want to hear the speakers and songs and worship in peace?
You think it’s not “annoying” for us parents to watch our kid scratch someone on the playground?
You think we don’t get “annoyed” having to completely rearrange our schedule to fit our kids’ needs?!? That we don’t have hobbies, hopes, or dreams of our own? That we haven’t sacrificed literally EvErYtHiNg to become a parent, and spend the next 18+ years being “annoyed”? You think it’s only hard for you to accommodate a small, whiny, irrational, temperamental, messy, poopy, tired, screaming kid?
You think I am not “annoyed” by their incessant “Mom?! Moooooooooom?” The fact that nothing I do anymore is done alone or independently? That I always have a shadow, one that’s asking for something? That my needs will never come first and probably not even be met?
You think it’s not “annoying” for me to be unable to have a phone call without loud kids in the background?
You think it’s not “annoying” for me to wipe up spill after spill after spill? Or spend countless dollars repairing broken stuff?
You think I don’t get annoyed by “children?”

Seriously the list could go on.
Whether or not you have kids of your own (cause I’ve faced injustice from both parties)
People should understand the general level of stress that comes from being a parent. Even being a neglectful emotionally absent parent is stressful. Trying to be a good parent who is in top of your kids, modeling your behavior for them, and guiding them 24/7 is an even harder job.
My plea is to people everywhere to realize the children of the world are our future generations.
They’re not just “annoying” things we should avoid, scold, or judge. The parents working on raising these kids need some support, not judgement. To all the old people who have sat by grumbling and rolling their eyes, why didn’t you think to help? Was it just too inconvenient? Was it just too”annoying”? Was it “not your responsibility?”
To the people without kids, could it be that life isn’t about meeting all your demands and schedules but is actually about helping raise a future generation? That it was always meant to be a selfless endeavor?
Could it be that ALL parents were meant to chip in and help one another, make it a village, offer patience to any and all, alleviate some of the stress from one another as our kids take turns being “annoying”?

Two Sundays ago a college age guy (single) day behind us at church and made very obnoxious and LOUD comments about how many “kids there are under four!” Next to him.
(There were three, actually, the rest were over five years old. Thank you)
He made it known in no inconspicuous way how noisy the children were and that they couldn’t hold still and I just wanted to turn around and say, “Want to do the Christian thing and HELP?” Or were you a perfect silent and motionless toddler yourself? Dip$h!t?”

I’ve also had some wonderful things said to me about how “awesome” of a mother I was and that my kids are a delight during church, being kids but being cute and playful. (Ahem,,.cause that’s what kids ARE. Not adults.)
A huge problem our generation has is holding kids to and adult standard. Ostracizing then for being “kids. Blaming, shaming, and critiquing them. And in my (not humble) opinion, that’s why we are sending so many screwed up adults into society.
Not because of republicans.
Not because of Democrats.
Because of what is going on with children.

The more “annoying” you think a kid is, the MORE you ought to praise that quiet, strung out parent.
It takes a big heart, arguable THE BIGGEST HEART, full of charity and kindness, to tolerate, steward, forgive, and nurture “annoying” children.

Blessed be the parents,
And to all those offering continued patience and understanding.

Humble, calm, controlled people are given challenges of overcoming “annoyances”, the world would be a better place if we all did.