Tuesday, November 20, 2018

My Spouse Strayed; Why I Stayed VOLUME 1

“My covenants meant more to me than the mistakes. It hurts and you wonder how you’ll ever love again, but we have four children and they deserve their mother AND their father­čśč They deserve to see us work through every challenge, because I’m today’s world, you won’t escape life without challenges. These challenges get uglier and uglier, and I want to teach my kids how to make it through. How to fight. How to survive. Not how to quit. Quitting has eternal consequences. That hurts more to think about.”

Ive began speaking with people about their triumph over infidelity.
This is a hot topic to debate.
Some think “That’s the end!” If their spouse cheats.
Others think “If they’re sorry, we will work it out.”
Then there’s the inevitable “I’ll never love you, but we are staying together for the kids.”

What do you think you’d do? I promise. You won’t. 
You think you’d walk away because you need to send some sort of message.
You need to “love yourself” enough to walk away from eternal covenants.

I’m not going to say it shouldn’t EVER happen.
Holy cow, it should and it will if God makes it known to you!
Heavenly Father is BY DEFAULT guiding a covenant marriage. If HE IN HIS ALL KNOWING WISDOM knows the marriage shall end. he will make it manifest.
The rest of the time, I’m pretty sure
“For time and all eternity”
For time.

Ready for the ugly part?
That includes...BIG FAT MISTAKES.

I know so many people (more than not) who have triumphed over infidelity.
I literally have only met two couples. TWO. I repeat, two, who have not faced infidelity in one form or another (and I won’t be asking because I don’t want to know, unless others choose to share) The thing is, whether we like it or not, it’s the new thing. It’s the new “whoops”.
Whoops I smoked a cigarette.
Whoops I skipped school.
Whoops I lied to a cop about how fast I was going.
Whoops I cheated on my spouse.

Cheating is defined by the couple.
I know couples in very open relationships who accept sexual relations outside of the marriage as long as the couple discusses it first.
Know couples who consider pornography cheating.
Whatever you base your marriage vows on, stands.

In a covenant marriage, it’s defined by the laws of chastity as explained in the temple recommend interview. (We know what they are)
Still, why then do so many people stray?
Then, excuse their behavior?

I’m lost on that, but I know it’s time to start offering support and speaking out about the sneaky, elephant in the room.
No more shaming spouses who “stick it out”.
Are you kidding????
Those people are AMAzing!!
They deserve aooo many blessings for honoring their TRI-covenant vow. Yep, the three way promise between them, their spouse. And GOD! Which remains in tact as long as the marriage (sealing) is in tact.
These blessings are tremendous. Huge.
And when kids are involved...it’s a whole different story.
Celestial families do not deserve to be broken up.

When a marriage is abusivo or toxic, Heavenly Father will help guide a separation. We must always also offer support to people who’ve divorced and lost eternal marriages. Nothing hurts worse, not even the death of a spouse. Death has been defeated. Christ overcame death. People will live again forever. But divorce? Divorce shatters “eternity” it shatters “dreams” it shatters hearts.

Stay tuned for more stories, and feel free to submit your own!
Your “Why I Stayed” might only be “Why I stayed for 20 years...and then left.”
I still want to know.
We are still here for you.

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