I’ve been pondering this question a lot today. Wondering, is my path the same as God’s? Am I walking the path He wants me to walk?
Sometimes I’ve been sitting in a house for days at a time and I speak only to children under three. Most of the time they’re screaming and crying at me, or fighting with each other. I get desperate for human interaction. Since most people aren’t available unless it’s through social media, I find myself binging social media in an effort to connect. What I encounter are failed connections or surface level friendships. I get depressed. I withdraw. And I’m back in my same circular path.
Which then poses the question: Am I on God’s path for ME?
I’m going to try and figure it out, one tiny set at a time.
I deactivated my social media accounts. Again. For the umpteenth time.
The break is much needed.
I’m going to evaluate my life circumstances.
I don’t have the relationships I want; that is the relationships I have currently, like with my husband, my parents, my siblings, and my friends, are not precisely where I wish them to be.
Do I have a hard life?
Am I extremely blessed and fortunate?
I’m going to celebrate those aspects and continue to improve my relationships while utilizing prayer and scripture study. My goal is to align my path with God’s, for if I’m encountering a hrdahip of some sort, I will be able to know what God’s purpose is in my going through it.
As it stands, I’ve felt painfully alone for a number of years. I do not have people to confide in about my deepest darkest pains and the struggles I’m having. Which, in relation to the world’s crises, are NOT that bad. However, I’m not human and I suffer pains and afflictions just like the next human. I do wish I had a confidant, I do wish I had stronger relationships in my life; but for now, I will focus solely on strengthening my relationship with God. I know He is always there and will be my everlasting friend.