A lot has been on my mind this week...haha...as you can tell with my overload of posts. Sometimes I blog a lot, other times I go months in between. I try to just follow my promptings.
It is 3:40am and I cannot sleep. I've been suffering from high anxiety and anger this evening, and although I have prayed numerously for relief, I am sill struggling. I came to the conclusion that my negative feelings were coming from some painful memories. These memories revolve around some poor decisions I made during my dark ages, which was years ago. I know it is common and very understandable for someone who is going through tremendous pain and heartache to make bad choices, but these bad choices can have lasting affects. For me, It has been anxiety and anger.
This early morning, I want to forgive myself of the mistakes I've made and be proud of the progress I've made over the years. I do not need to receive acknowledgment from anyone, but I do need to forgive myself or these memories will haunt and torture me forever. It has been half a decade, and I am ready to let go.
I've narrowed down the process to 3 steps.
1. Make a list of the memories you want to forget and forgive. Release them from your heart by burning the list.
2. Turn to deep prayer to forgive yourself of the mistakes, forget them, and move on in this life of progression and growth. We each walk a different path, and sometimes part of that path is pain.
3. Write down the lessons you've learned and are grateful for from your life journeys. Include blessings you've received. Attach this list to a balloon and release it into the sky.
I'm actually pretty excited about this process. I love balloons and can't wait to see mine float up to the heavens tomorrow with all my good vibes! Even though tonight has been a struggle, I have great trust in prayer and I know that patience is being required of me. I look forward to releasing some hurt, some negativity, and frustration, and forgiving myself of my past shortcomings. I look forward to feeling free and happy! I will share my thoughts and feelings on this soon. Have a good night everyone!
Or should I say
(Step 9 of the Addiction recovery program involves forgiveness. For more, visit the ARP website.)