Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Real Meaning of Kindness

The reason why this topic struck me so hard is because I have been guilty of it in the past. I have never wanted to work on something more than my own ability to be kind to people. Because I continually mess up, it is an ongoing practice, but I've honestly always admired people that were just nice down to their bones. Even more than people who are beautiful or rich. I want to be that genuine human being, and not in a GENUINELY INGENUINE kind of way, and yes that is a thing. For example, a "yes" man is a genuinely ingenuine person...they say anything you want to hear, any time you want to hear it. It sounds really cool at first, until you realize that nothing coming out of their mouth is ever genuine, because it is unrealistic to be a "yes" man. How can this kind of person be trusted, when they simply just agree with the person they are currently communicating with? I don't really know, but I'll move on from that before I stoop into the habit of having unkind thoughts about them 
I'll start this post with a quote from a movie that goes like this:
"You said everyone deserves a fair break...but you meant only people who were like you."
I see this, time and time again.
Sometimes, it is me.
Sometimes it is happening to me.
I have met people who are super friendly and loyal and devoted to their family and friends. They have an amazing rapport as being such compassionate, tender souls who would do anything for their loved ones. This is where it gets tricky. Because, in my experience, these people find it extremely difficult to extend that kindness to anyone else, in particular people who are different than them. Judgment becomes a factor again, and while I'm trying my best to talk about this without sounding judgmental, it is hard when I want to point out this common character flaw.
Like I said, I've been there, which is how I can so easily pinpoint it now. Typically, it is women who most likely fall into this category of two-faced wolf in sheep's clothing. And I say that because in general Men are just more forgiving, carefree creatures, but that doesn't mean they are exempt.
What is it that people find so hard about befriending people who are SO different from them? Is it fear? Is it lack of commonality? Is it a worry that opinions can cause a rift? Because they can, when forced on one another, but in true kindness that would never happen. Do you find it easy to help out a sibling or close friend in time of need, but that neighbor who is struggling can fend for themself because you feel uncomfortable with the way they live their life? Are you loyal to your family, because of course you love them, unconditionally, they are family! ! But turn around and deprive a stranger of that loyalty because you don't know them, and from their exterior you gauge they are not worthy of such loyalty?
As a Christian, I believe it is of utmost importance to be kind to those in NEED of it. NOT to those it is easiest to be kind to.
I think that is true Christianity.
Being nice shouldn't be easy. Not really.
We all have family we would die for. We would go to the end of the world to make them happy. Is that really kindness?  I mean, think deep about that. What is more kind? Helping your friend fix their flat tire, or stopping to help the woman and crying child on the side of the freeway fix her tire?
All people need love and forgiveness and equal tolerance, no matter race, color, gender, etc.
If you have a tendency to judge people based on looks, tattoos, piercings, history, or maybe out of jealousy, there is a good chance you are withholding your kindness from them.
The bible says, The whole need no physician.
I love this quote because it reiterates where we should be directing a large portion of our charitable energy.
Yes, we should be nice to everyone, family and friends alike, but what I've learned this far in life is that kindness really empowers the soul when you offer it to those you find it most difficult to be kind to.